Self Injury

Why do we do things that are self-destructive? I know I’m not the only human being to walk this path. Logically, we should gravitate towards things that help us grow, like a tree to the light. But somehow, some of us end up twisted and gnarled, and the bitch of it is that we do it to ourselves. Unless you are actually enslaved (a reality for far too many people on our planet today) or actively being tortured, we ourselves propel ourselves not towards growth, but behaviours that injure us. Why?

This is the point where I try to remind myself that “Why?” is a dangerous and often useless line of inquiry. Does it really matter? Or, more to the point, why not?

Why not? All I can do is shrug. Why not indeed.

Now what? That’s a more useful question. Perhaps the best question is “What’s next?” What is the next step that I need to take in order to move forward? That’s the $64,000. question.

To answer it, I need to know where I am. I have to be honest about what is going on with me. Time to do a little journal writing.