I saw the CBC news story on Randy Pausch’s Last Lecture on TV. I think it is important to listen to the words of those who know they are dying, especially when they are seeing clearly and not caught in the net of self pity. This man is seeing clearly. His last lecture to his Carnegie Mellon students was “for my kids”—5, 2, and 1-year-old—who will be losing their father to cancer within the next few months.
I pray for the grace and strength, honesty and honour—even a portion of it—that this man displays. I watch myself judging myself day after day and wonder if there is a place other than self-pity, self-loathing, and denial. I seem to spend a lot of time there. Chronic pain doesn’t help, but neither is it an excuse.
I don’t know the answer, but I can frame the question:
How do I move forward from here?