what should i do with my life

That’s what I entered in the Google search field last night. After all the Po Bronson entries (including Oprah.com), I found one for the Slice channel (cheesy “woman’s” cable television channel that airs “Till Debt Do Us Part”).

“Hey Bryan, I found a quiz on Slice.ca called What Should You Do With Your Life? *This* is going to give me the answers I’ve been looking for!” Ever since the rehab person called and made an appointment with me here, at home, in three weeks, I’ve been more than a bit overwhelmed and caught up in trying to answer this question with something more than I don’t know. See, I have issues trusting myself.

“Yeah, right.” We laughed and joked about an online quiz being the answer to my question. I took the quiz and here’s what it said:

Hands up! If you want your heart to soar, you need to be in a career that is hands on. Believe it or not, car mechanics and surgeons have this in common. Artists, builders, tradesmen… whatever you choose, you get the most satisfaction out of creating with your hands. You’d be the type who loves office events so you can create decorations, invitations, posters, and more. So if you’re feeling a little stuck, spend all your time doodling during meetings, and need more spark in your career, you’re not using your hands enough (and X-rated office activities do not count!).

I told you it was cheesy. And frighteningly dead-on. As Bryan put it, “If the universe even has online quizzes from Slice telling you that you need to be an artist, maybe you should take the hint and do that.”

Okay, okay, so I trust that voice inside of me that says to do my crafts (glass, sewing) and my writing. Let go of the anxiety, fear, and the voice that says I will fail. I don’t know how to this, but I will learn.

It’s funny, it’s when I talk to my friend who is struggling with depression, I can see which DBT skills are relevant, yet when it comes to my own situation, I can’t see the forest for the trees. Today’s skill: act as if. If you don’t want to get out of bed, act as if you do. This is a variant of WWBD? (What Would Buddha Do?)

It is the first day of gorgeous warm weather in weeks. I want to enjoy it, or at least act as if I do.